What Can Fathers Do with an Unplanned Pregnancy?

Did your partner recently tell you she’s pregnant? If so, you’re likely feeling many emotions right now—and those feelings are valid and understandable. However, the most important thing you can do is take a deep breath, give yourself some time to process the news, and support her.

You are both likely feeling overwhelmed with questions, but the best way to move forward is together. And no matter how you feel about the pregnancy, there are steps you can take to help your partner feel supported during this time.

This article will highlight those steps. (Looking for a safe space to talk or find answers right now? Contact us to schedule a free, confidential appointment with one of our peer counselors.)

Actively Listen to Your Partner

It’s important to reiterate that whatever you feel about the pregnancy is valid and understandable. However, your partner is likely feeling all of that and more.

One of the best ways to show your partner support is by actively listening to what she’s going through.

Active listening isn’t just about hearing what someone says. Instead, it’s about making the other person feel truly heard.

The following strategies can help you actively listen:

  • Listen without distractions. Try to look your partner in the eye, and don’t let things like a phone or TV distract you from what she’s saying.
  • Summarize what she’s saying. After your partner talks, follow up with summary statements. This will ensure you understand what she’s saying and help avoid miscommunication.
  • Ask follow-up questions. The goal of active listening is to help the other person go deeper. For example, if your partner says she’s scared about moving forward, you can ask her what makes her feel this way. This will help encourage her to go deeper into her thought process to understand what she’s feeling and why.

Communicate What You’re Feeling

While the decision about how to move forward in the pregnancy is ultimately your partner’s, your feelings are important as well.

Communicating your feelings to your partner without making her feel pressured if she disagrees is critical. For example, if she’s thinking about parenting but you’re worried about being a father, you can be honest but assure her that you will still support her choice—and then help her understand what this support will look like practically.

Learn All You Can with Your Partner

You can support your partner by helping her learn all she can about her options and by learning all you can as well.

There are three options for moving forward: parenting, adoption, or abortion. You and your partner owe it to yourselves to learn all you can about each option so that a wise, informed decision can be made—ideally, together.

We’re Here for You Both

This time can feel overwhelming, but you and your partner aren’t in this alone. At ALC, we’re here for you both.

If your partner hasn’t had an ultrasound yet, this is an essential next step. We offer limited ultrasounds for free because your partner needs information to stay safe. We also offer information about the available pregnancy options in a safe, nonjudgmental space.

Contact us today.  We have two convenient locations: 711 Henry Clay Street, Shelbyville, KY (Phone: (502) 647-0300) and 368 N. Buckman Street, Shepherdsville, KY (Phone: (502) 212-2535).